I recently posted on my Facebook about how just because I’m married, I don’t feel the need to change my last name.

Marriage and family and changing my name is such a fickle subject with me. And with good reason. I know why I feel this way.

At the end of 2008, Martin randomly said “by this time next year you’re going to be my wife.” and I replied with “haha, yeah, right”. I had no problem dating for 10 years before we got married, but it clearly bothered him. Either way, he was right. By the very end of 2009, we got married. I’m not saying I regret it, because I don’t. I just regret how it happened. It was rushed because we were pressed for time (oh good ol’ military).

I always figured I would change my last name when I got to that point in my life. The point where I want to legit settle down. When I’m done with school and traveling and enjoying MY life. It use to bother him that I wouldn’t change my last name, even if he understood why. But I’m thankful that no matter what I decide to do with MY last name, he supports it.

Someone on my Facebook had replied saying that they changed their last name to let the world know she was proud to be his wife. And that response doesn’t really register in my mind. A part of me feels like by taking his last name, I’m his property. And I’m no one’s property. Is there something wrong with being married to someone, telling them you want to be by their side always without “belonging” to them? I just hate that concept so much. He’s not my property and I’m not his. He is my husband, my best friend, but I do not own him. We compromise on things that force us to compromise but other than that, his life is his own and mine is my own. He is free to make whatever decision he wants.

We have never been traditional. Nothing about us has ever been. We’ve always just paved our own way the way we see fit.